Weight Loss: How to Maximize Your Circle of Support to Maximize Your Weight Loss Results
Today we’re talking about How to Maximize Your circle of Support! Well…….so let me just drop a little something on ya!!
You may be asking yourself why is my circle of support so important? Well, perhaps like many other goals in our life I believe that if you live, interact, socialize or have a relationship with other people in your life it’s going to take each and every one as your support system. Successful weight loss is not a go-it-alone deal if you can help it. If you want to lose weight and also keep it off, the people in your life need to be supportive and that means forever not just a moment in time.
Losing weight is far too challenging to do yourself and each of these challenges are realized every day among the circles of people you share your life with. These are people like your spouse, caregiver, work colleagues, parent groups, personal friends in our everyday social life. You can fill in the blank here. So, every person in our life do one of two things for us….they either SUPPORT our efforts in all that we do or they’re SABOTAGING them.
When I got serious and finally figured out a true blue-how-ta do formulation that has and IS working for me I knew I had to take a long hard look at who was doing what in my life. For example: the person I live with is my husband, the HUBSTER and we do all things together. He’s a pretty big deal in my life. Now, He chooses to eat what I cook and has come to love the whole eating way of life. However he will not commit to a no-sugar lifestyle. Now, I recognize that a huge trigger for me is Sugar so I make a very conscious effort to avoid the stuff. Not so with the hubs but he knows how I feel about it so he will not dance with the sugar-devils around me. He respects my choice and knows my weakness in sugar because we’ve had the discussion. I had to have this same discussion with every person in my life.
You see, I had to take my social inventory and identify the supporters from the saboteurs. I call this my Help-or-Hinder Audit. I actually am sharing that with you as a free resource to help you along in your wellness journey. Just click the big green button here for your free copy.
Take a listen and try to decide how your circles of people fair. Let’s start with Supporters:
- Supporters will always look out for your best interest.
- They will tell you how much they care
- They will show you they care by their actions
- They know that losing weight is of utmost importance to you and ultimately to your overall health
- Supporters provide much trust in your abilities
- They give you pure and honest feedback
- They have plenty of patience and know that your concerns are real.
- They know that small behavioral changes may be attached to your weight issues and help you through them with dignity.
- Love you through your weight loss efforts
- Won’t make fun of your weight loss program
- Supporters won’t cook foods that will hinder your efforts
- Feel threatened by your efforts or won’t threaten to leave you
- Compliment you on your efforts and applaud your wins with you
- Will not call you names or put you down in any way.
- Verbally acknowledge your healthy behavior
- Will help you do the homework on healthy restaurants and/or oblige in going to that restaurant with you.
- Grocery shop with you and maybe even learn to cook healthy with you
- Make an effort to exercise with you.
- Won’t complain about the time and efforts you’re investing in your health
- Won’t bring home or engage in unhealthy foods at home near you.
- Work around your schedule so that you can exercise together.
- Don’t make special rules for “eating poorly” because of a special occasion
- Don’t leave candy dishes or unhealthy foods lying around.
Weight Loss: Maximize Your Circle of Support by Surrounding Yourself with Supporters
Great supporters don’t plant self doubt in our heads by constantly turning things negatively, Example: Well, you know 90% of people who diet fail, why even try?” “Come on Honey you know I like a little meat on my woman, don’t get too skinny” or “you’re doing so good one lil ole donut won’t hurt ya” or how about this one. “You are no fun any more – you never eat with us” and one more, “I made this pumpkin pie especially for you but I guess you don’t like my cooking any more”. I have heard them all. Great supporters will not make you feel like an outsider – like saying “oh we can’t go do Italian anymore since there’s nothing you can eat there.” We’ve named quite a few examples of supportive influences in our lives. Did anyone of your social circle come to mind?
How about for the opposite of a supporter? If anyone in your circles are acting outside of putting your best interest and health first they are not supporting your efforts. SO……Why would they sabotage you or not be supportive? Ill-intended or not why do you suppose people do this to us? We know they love us so why would they hinder our success? Well, Friends I can think of a few reasons. How about that green eyed monster that is called jealousy? Didn’t you know I’d say that?
FEAR Sometimes it comes from a good place and that’s a genuine fear for your health. Along those same lines how about fear of loss or being left behind? Sometimes a colleague may fear that you’re viewed at the workplace as a more successful person that they are with your new weight loss. ….and that makes them uncomfortable.
CONTROL: sometimes it’s about control. Maybe a spouse doesn’t want anyone else complimenting his spouse. Currently he or she may be the only one who does and they like it that way!
THREATENED: Maybe someone feels threatened. They think if you lose weight and they themselves need to lose weight as well that’s going to put them in the position to lose weight too and they’re not there yet, they’re not where you are in your journey and that makes them feel threatened and threatened people most times fight back in some way. The may even try to talk you out of it.
Sexual Anxiety – depending on who this comes from if it be your spouse or partner, they believe that if you get all thin that you’ll gain confidence and while that Is a great thing they might believe that you will use that to attract a new mate! It’s the UNKNOWN to others that make them become sabotuers.GAHHH! What if the Sabotuer is Yourself? As I have learned from the great Master of Psychology Dr.Phil McGraw “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”. So, the first thing you have to do is to pull your self out on the carpet Friend.
It might not be comfortable for you to do this….I get it but you must. You see, there may be some unacknowledged reason why you subconsciously choose to keep a layer of fluff over your body as to cover up your pain of some other reasons. Perhaps you feel unworthy of love or a healthy body due to something that was done to you in childhood. Maybe it is due to some person or instance that’s made you feel this way and you have internalized it. I have a good place to start with my Confronting Feelings and Emotions video. You might even consider a life coach to get started on your journey.
Weight Loss: Maximize Your Circle of Support – How to Deal With the other Saboteurs?
You know there was a time when I took things so personal. I was very fortunate never to have been bullied about my weight but it was always in my head that I was being judged by it. I think we women in general tend to take things personal though. It’s so hard (especially we southern gals) to really plant our feet firmly and say “no, I am not drinking wine with you every day. I love you but I’ll be having my berry flavored Seltzer or?” We are always fearful of being judged and we really need to let that go.
We can feel free to speak our minds and let folks know that we are in charge of our health and plan to stay the course. Now this doesn’t mean you have to be mean about it. NO, there is a kind way to do this.
FRIENDS and FOOD RELATED Gatherings: So for instance if you are invited for dinner, pre-read the menu and just chose something healthy before getting there. No big deal, you just order what you want. If that dinner turns out to be at the home of someone, inquire if there will be an abundance of veggies and lean meat and if the answer is no, take some with you. Make the food the lesser importance of the visit. By that I mean, let the comradery be your purpose of attending the meal. I am the same person I’ve always been, I just have other tastes.
SPOUSE: “Babe, We’ve been together forever, I’m not going anywhere. I love you and count on your to be there as my best friend to be here in my time of need and I promise to return in kind. Thank you for your help and support in my efforts.
COLLEAGUES: “Awww, don’t be like that. I am still the same person I always was, but I am carrying extra body weight that is not serving me well in my health. If you won’t support me in this I won’t succeed.”
To The FOOD PUSHERS: If someone just won’t leave you alone while insisting that you partake in the food offerings you can tell them Oh yeah, “It looks great. Maybe a little later.” YOU make sure later never comes and they will never even notice. Actually this may serve you in all of the instances we just discussed. The idea that you are going to partake at some point and not argue about the fact that you’re watching your weight could be all that it takes.
In summary Y’all we must take a hard honest look at ourselves to be sure that we’re not sabotaging ourselves. Once you deal with your own self-sabotaging then you have to take a look at your social circle of support. You don’t want to sugar coat or be passive about your relationship with each of them. Call it what it is so that you can be honest in the plan to fix it. Being in denial is the only thing worse than have non supportive people in your life. Finally once you have identified the parties who do not serve you well – you have to have a heart to heart conversation with them about the reasons why you are doing this. You can be polite, kind and speak out of love but be honest and frank about how it makes you feel to not be supported. Then finally ask for their complete support in this endeavor going forward.
Lastly, please don’t get down on yourself OR on the people in your life. This is about awareness so that you can strengthen the support so that you can set yourself up for the absolute best opportunity at reaching your weight and staying there.
Be kind, patient and good to yourself. As strange as this sounds loving yourself sometimes is the hardest thing for some of us. Why? From my reading, most times it all boils down to childhood and our past – in some way. Our past is just that…….OUR PAST! Give yourself the gift of love, won’t you? There is no other person in the world just like you. My friend that is by design. Again, each week I like to empower you in your own wellness journey so that you can pick up your very own Help or Hinder Audit right here by clicking the big green button and you can pick up FO FREE!
Alrighty, that’s going to do it for this video of Maximize Your Circle of Support! I surely hope you gleaned some value from it and if you did I would be honored if you would Like, Follow, Share and/or Subscribe depending on where you are watching this video. That will ensure that you will be one of the first to learn whenever I post a new resource on my blog or YouTube channel. I do hope you will join me because I put out a new blogpost and free resource to help you along in your wellness journey, each and every week. I would love to have you look me up on my social outlets listed below and say Hi and tell me where you are in your wellness journey. Here’s the link to my Facebook messenger as well.
Until then I’m Yours in Sass ~